When is rage good? Myke Merrill

You can't do everything but you can do something Episode 217 (Myke is based in New York state) In this conversation with Dr. Myke Merril we explore: How do we perceive reality What does it mean to be emotional? The power of saying, "Tell me more about that" Emotions are not good nor bad, it's what you do with it How can anger be constructive How to change a reaction to a response Four words to eliminate from your speaking About our guest: He has written 28 books to make his wealth of knowledge and insights widely available. Dr. Mike has two mottos of life. One, be constantly curious, learn something about everything, frequently use the expression, tell me more. And to I cannot do everything, but I can do something. So I will do that. Learn more about his book and services https://whydopeopleactthatway.com/ ----- Excerpts from this conversation with Dr. Myke Merrill: Tell us a little bit about what is this thing that we call reality? That is a tremendous philosophical question. But it's also a biological question. How a person how every human being perceives the reality in which they are personally immersed, there isn't a reality of what's happening and some star somewhere 400 light years away. The reality is, that's not a part of our reality. But when I'm driving along, and somebody cuts me off, that is part of my reality. And the question then is, how do I perceive that moment? Is that an aggressive moment? Or do I have compassion in that moment? Is it somebody who just wet their pants and are trying to get to a bathroom really badly? And they're not thinking about anything else? Or did they just get fired from work? And they're pretty much at the end of their rope. I mean, I don't know what's going on. But my reality is the journey I'm on. ----- But a starting point is it's either a reaction or a response. A reaction is unplanned, spontaneous, and usually less or uncontrolled. A response is reasonable, mature, experienced, and and has a plan. They're both emotional. They're both emotion, emotion is both sides. But if you have a reaction, can you shift that to a response? Can you say, I know I just gave you the finger because you pulled in front of me. Let me back that up just a little bit. Because I'd like to take a different course here, or you're in an argument with your your management team and your business. And some new startup comes in with some wild idea. And you immediately trashed the person, not the idea. And to be able to that was my reaction, and to be able to say, I just reacted there, and I don't want to do that. Let me pull that back. And let me respond, not react. Both of those are emotional, both are intense. loads, it really matters what we're talking about here. But I'm going to respond instead of react. So emotion for me became either the reaction or the response, linking my perceptions to my motivations, and their interactive. ----- ----more---- Your Intended Message is the podcast about how you can boost your career and business success by honing your communication skills. We’ll examine the aspects of how we communicate one-to-one, one to few and one to many – plus that important conversation, one to self. In these interviews we will explore presentation skills, public speaking, conversation, persuasion, negotiation, sales conversations, marketing, team meetings, social media, branding, self talk and more.   Your host is George Torok George is a specialist in communication skills. Especially presentation. He’s fascinated by the links between communication and influencing behaviors. He delivers training and coaching programs to help leaders and promising professionals deliver the intended message for greater success.