#620: Dr. Gabor Maté — The Myth of Normal, Metabolizing Anger, Processing Trauma, and Finding the Still Voice Within

Dr. Gabor Maté — The Myth of Normal, Metabolizing Anger, Processing Trauma, and Finding the Still Voice Within | Brought to you by Tommy John premium underwear, Athletic Greens all-in-one nutritional supplement, and ButcherBox premium meats delivered to your door. Dr. Gabor Maté (@DrGaborMate) is a renowned speaker and bestselling author, highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics that includes addiction, stress, and childhood development. Dr. Maté has written several bestselling books, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, When the Body Says No: Understanding the Stress-Disease Connection, and Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It. He has also coauthored Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. His works have been published internationally in nearly thirty languages. His new book is The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture. Please enjoy! * This episode is brought to you by Tommy John premium underwear! For men, Tommy John offers six different styles so you can find the one that suits you best. Their line of men’s briefs and boxers is one of my top choices for all-day comfort. I tested their Second Skin Mid-Length Boxer Brief and the Cool Cotton Trunk. Shop Tommy John’s Labor Day Sale now at TommyJohn.com/Tim and save 25% sitewide. There’s little risk because of Tommy John's “Best Pair You’ll Ever Wear or It’s Free” guarantee. Offer ends September 11th. * This episode is also brought to you by Athletic Greens. I get asked all the time, “If you could use only one supplement, what would it be?” My answer is usually AG1 by Athletic Greens, my all-in-one nutritional insurance. I recommended it in The 4-Hour Body in 2010 and did not get paid to do so. I do my best with nutrient-dense meals, of course, but AG further covers my bases with vitamins, minerals, and whole-food-sourced micronutrients that support gut health and the immune system.  Right now, Athletic Greens is offering you their Vitamin D Liquid Formula free with your first subscription purchase—a vital nutrient for a strong immune system and strong bones. Visit AthleticGreens.com/Tim to claim this special offer today and receive the free Vitamin D Liquid Formula (and five free travel packs) with your first subscription purchase! That’s up to a one-year supply of Vitamin D as added value when you try their delicious and comprehensive all-in-one daily greens product. * This episode is also brought to you by ButcherBox! ButcherBox makes it easy for you to get high-quality, humanely raised meat that you can trust. They deliver delicious, 100% grass-fed, grass-finished beef; free-range organic chicken; heritage-breed pork; and wild-caught seafood directly to your door. And now, ButcherBox is offering you, my dear listeners, a fantastic deal—free chicken for a year! Get 2 lbs. of free-range, organic chicken breasts for free in every order when you sign up at butcherbox.com/TIM by September 25th. Plus, get an extra $10 off your first box with promo code TIM10 at checkout. Claim this deal at butcherbox.com/TIM. * [05:30] How COVID affected Gabor. [06:33] Exploring plant medicine with Indigenous First Nations. [13:29] How Gabor got fired from his own ayahuasca retreat. [16:35] Can Indigenous medicine ever be understood through a Western lens? [21:37] How does Gabor clear himself of the trauma he takes from others? [22:48] Was writing The Myth of Normal more labor intensive than Gabor’s other works? [25:40] A personal story about how past trauma can show up in everyday life. [29:01] Coping with rage and anger. [40:01] Attachment versus authenticity. [45:12] Where does depression originate? [48:23] Raising a child to learn self-regulation. [52:24] What Gabor hopes The Myth of Normal readers don’t miss. [57:20] Finding the right balance of self-care when caring for a family. [1:01:18] The harm of focusing on correcting a child’s behavior rather than their underlying emotional dynamics. [1:05:47] Rehabilitation versus punishment of incarcerated, traumatized adults. [1:14:55] If he couldn’t write, what would be the focus of Gabor’s clinical practice? [1:17:50] Finding and listening to one’s inner voice or calling. [1:25:58] Are you bargaining with your authenticity? [1:30:41] Parting thoughts. * For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast. For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsors Sign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday. For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts. Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books. Follow Tim: Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss  Instagram: instagram.com/timferriss YouTube: youtube.com/timferriss Facebook: facebook.com/timferriss  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferriss Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more. 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