E.228 What Happens When We Stop Keeping Pain A Secret

Send us a text Some conversations ask you to sit up a little straighter. This one asks you to relax your shoulders, tell the truth, and feel what you’ve been carrying. We dive into the messy overlap of trauma and grief in first responder and military cultures, where silence is rewarded and honesty is too often punished, and we share a different path built on authenticity, peer support, and practical skills. Blythe Landry joins us to map the line between privacy and secrecy, and why crossing it keeps people sick. We talk about ethical self-disclosure—when a helper shares only to serve the client—and how human presence beats formal scripts and stiff suits for building trust. You’ll hear why fit-for-duty vibes can re-trigger rank-based fear, why plain language matters, and how showing up as a person first invites others to do the same. We also confront the system costs of looking away: moved abusers, muted reports, moral injury, and the downstream mix of suicide risk, substance use, gambling, overwork, and other behavioral addictions that masquerade as coping. Grief work sits at the center. Acute grief isn’t a two-week arc; it softens when people gain tools, witness, and meaning. We break down how trauma shapes worldview and therefore grief, and why evidence-based skills plus an honest community can turn pain into purpose without sugarcoating the loss. Blythe shares a trauma-informed grief coaching track designed for grievers and peer supporters—exactly the kind of culture-fit training that spreads healing inside agencies that need it most. If you serve, love someone who serves, or lead a team where the unspoken rule is “suck it up,” this conversation offers a better rule: say what’s true, get support, and refuse secrecy. Subscribe, share this with a teammate, and leave a review with one insight you’ll bring back to your crew. Your words might be the reason someone reaches out. Reach Blythe through her website at https://www.blythelandry.com/Freed.ai: We’ll Do Your SOAP Notes! Freed AI converts conversations into SOAP note.Use code Steve50 for $50 off the 1st month! Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. Support the show YouTube Channel For The Podcast