249: Between the Chaos of Motherhood and Entrepreneurship: A Mash-Up of Insights from Two Leading Moms and Me on Making It Work

We need to do a better job at resourcing ourselves, especially if you’ve decided that you have an unwavering commitment to see your business and family-life vision through! It’s not an easy feat to disrupt industries, create your own, or parent multiple kids. It can be chaotic, even on a good day! That’s why this week we're diving into the secrets of how to make it all work—yep, all of it! Do you wonder how you can be a boss at work and a rockstar mom at home and still have time to chase those big, audacious dreams? Well, wonder no more!   I’m bringing you an exclusive mashup featuring two powerhouse mompreneurs, Zibby Owens (mom of 4) and Liz Tenety (mom of 5), who are going to spill the beans on balancing business, babies, and everything in between. You ought to know that I have 3 sons with identical twins in that mix, so I know a thing or two about chaos and what it takes to be in business—I've been here for 13 years! Trust me, you don't want to miss their golden nuggets of wisdom, and I'll be chiming in with some of my own wild stories (hello, diaper blowout during a sales pitch?!)   So, grab your coffee, pop in those earbuds, and let’s get inspired to stretch our imaginations and turn those crazy ideas into reality! Ready? Let’s go! In this episode, you will hear: How to use your mom skills like humility, adaptability, and patience to dominate the business world.  Infusing your work life with playful strategies that help you manage stress and overwhelm like a boss.  Master the art of profitable relationship-building with techniques that are both strategic and authentic. Say goodbye to awkward networking events! Get tools to navigate those pesky insecurities and show up with confidence in every business conversation. Learn to make bold asks and communicate fearlessly to achieve your wildest business goals.  This episode is brought to you Fertile Imagination to Networking Success by my LIVE 9-week group coaching immersive program on becoming a powerful strategic networker using the Imagination to Impact and Income Method™ to connect with the right people, lead the right conversations, and swing open the right doors to success. The DOORS are officially open! But hurry, the DOORS close on September 27th at 5pm CST. I want to be sure you do not miss out on this opportunity and for that reason I invite you to send me a DM today and ask me anything about the opportunity to enroll today. Send me a DM today: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ to ask me anything before the doors officially close. Happy to hop on a quick 15-minute call too so DM me and I’ll send you a link for us to talk. Otherwise, head on to www.melissallarena.com/network  Imagine this in only 9 weeks, you could: Build profitable relationships and exceed your growth goals. Gain access to opportunities, boost your confidence for bolder asks, and raise prices. Feel energized by a fresh approach to relationships that taps into your imagination—the source of joy and fresh ideas. Navigate impostor syndrome, reignite your creativity, meet mom obligations, and achieve your best year ever with a focused plan. Approach your year-end goals with a mindset that leverages your advantages as a mom—letting your kids keep you grounded and present while inspiring you with their growth mindset. How? By enrolling in the Fertile Imagination to Networking Success Program for Mom Founders! This game-changing experience which you can enroll in right HERE https://www.melissallarena.com/network/ by September 27th at 5pm CST will show you how to: Transform your networking approach with 9 weeks of live coaching to implement the Imagination to Impact to Income Method™ for genuine connections without gatekeepers. Access an on-demand curriculum with research-based, cross-industry insights covering who to network with, how to find them, and how to create your networking calendar for higher-impact relationships. Experience a one-on-one role-playing session using storytelling to differentiate your business (and yourself), and receive expert feedback on communications for momentum. Revitalize your leadership skills by integrating the strengths you gain from being a mom with diverse modalities and tools that leverage the art of play. Use techniques such as meditations to get your creative juices flowing, boost productivity, and increase your energy. Connect with a community of like-minded mom founders for support and accountability, keeping your standards high and your vision strong. Journal your progress in a workbook to track your improved ability to tackle impostor syndrome and create a visionary leader roadmap to increase confidence. To ensure your long-term success, I’ve also included additional opportunities to apply these new networking skills by providing you with... Lifetime Access to the on-demand curriculum: Take the guesswork out of networking and refresh your strategy whenever needed. (you can teach this to your kids too!) Two months access to an Alumni online community of like-minded mom founders (priceless value; one contact can turn into a life-changing opportunity!) Two tickets to attend four virtual Quarterly Impact Appreciation Mixers focused on continued education in networking so that you can continue to deepen relationships. And this time only you will also get instant access to three exclusive bonuses that can help you make time for building profitable relationships, making bigger asks to get more, and attracting the right people with resources—so you can connect while you sleep. Get it off your plate!: Reclaim hours each week to easily fit relationship building into your life for business growth. Bolder Communication Strategies Toolkit: Step into a bolder persona and make bolder asks to optimize every interaction. Brush Up Your LinkedIn Profile: Unlock massive networking success by making your LinkedIn profile work harder for you.   I know this sounds too good to be true so don’t take my word for it, listen to what others have said about my method. Visit the website: https://www.melissallarena.com/network/ About Melissa Llarena   Melissa is a bestselling author (learn more on www.fertileideas.com), imagination coach behind the Fertile Imagination to Networking Success Group Coaching Program, consultant, speaker, contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered 4 million-plus views, and the podcast host of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub. Featured guests include GaryVee, Beth Comstock, Suzy Batiz, David Meltzer, and hundreds of other unconventional thinkers. Melissa has been featured in the WSJ, Business Insider, Fox Business, CNN Money, The Huffington Post, and other publications. She holds a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate and is training to become a meditation practitioner. Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons (one singleton and a set of identical twins).   Quotes, that can change your perspective: “We need to do a better job of resourcing ourselves. We have almost everything that we need right under our noses." - Melissa Llarena "The idea is to leap to your goals and make big strides, not get there at a snail's pace." - Melissa Llarena "I feel like I lead as a mom, and I feel like it has only made me a better leader, and they don't talk about that at business school at all." - Zibby Owens "Being humble. 100%. The superpower is the ability to constantly learn" - Zibby Owens   “It is about energy, it is about time, it is about money, and all those things kind of intersect and just encouraging people to use their creativity.” - Liz Tenety….on how being a business leader helped her lead her family "What if hanging out with your kids can be part of your competitive advantage, a business strategy, so that you can come up with a better business idea or something more innovative, certainly something that is simpler to describe." - Melissa Llarena “I think it is so important to bring the whole of you to the table because, because as a mom with a business, that is your competitive advantage.” - Melissa Llarena SHARE this episode and unleash your imagination, tap into your superpowers, and build a successful business while being an amazing mom. Join the conversation with other mom founders and learn how to achieve your goals with confidence and support! 💪 Supporting Resources:   Schedule a 15-minute call to see if Fertile Imagination to Networking Success my signature program is the right fit: https://go.oncehub.com/ClientSessionMelissaLlarena Podcast: Mom Founder Imagination Hub: https://www.melissallarena.com/podcast/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/MelissaLlarena/ Or, grab for free your copy of the “From Contact to Connection: The Mompreneur's Go-First Networking & Follow Up Playbook”: https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/21e52edb87  Subscribe and Review Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators?  I’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet.  I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.  TRANSCRIPT 00:00:00 Melissa: We need to do a better job of resourcing ourselves. We have almost everything that we need right under our noses. And I think in terms of being a mom, this is something that we don't even think about and it's not our fault at all because it's not a topic of conversation. 00:00:24 Melissa: Welcome to the Mom Founder Imagination Hub, your weekly podcast to inspire you to dream bigger. Plan out how you're going to get to that next level in business, find the energy to keep going and make sure your creative juices are flowing so that this way you get what you really want rather than having to settle. Get ready to discover how mom founders have reimagined entrepreneurship and motherhood. Ever wonder how they do it? Tune in to find out. And stretch yourself by also learning from diverse entrepreneurs who might not be moms, but who have lessons you can tailor about how you can disrupt industries and step way outside of your comfort zone. I believe every mom's superpower is her imagination. In this podcast, I'm gonna give you the mindset, methods, and tools to unleash yours. Sounds good? Then keep listening. 00:01:17 Melissa: Today's episode is brought to you by Fertile Imagination to Networking Success. It is a live nine-week group coaching program that really helps you become a powerful strategic networker using my secret method, the Imagination to Impact to Income method. And it's going to help you connect with the right people. It's going to help you have the right conversations and ultimately swing open the doors of your success. Here's what's included in this nine-week program. So you're gonna have on-demand curriculum that is going to be research-based, but also relevant to your industry, because I've worked in about 14 different business units and several sectors around the world. So I'm bringing those insights to the table so you could apply the lessons learned to your business.  00:02:05 Melissa: You're also going to have a private one-on-one session with me, whereby you're gonna work on your storytelling skills, so that this way you distinguish yourself and you bring the best stories to that when you're having those important, game-changing business conversations. Also, we're gonna work on your leadership skills and your ability to navigate overwhelm, stress, anxiety, through the art of play. That's what makes this program different. I have infused the art of play, the different modalities that I've leveraged, such as mindfulness and meditations, to get you through this experience. So that this way, even though, you might feel intimidated by having conversations with high profile people. You can get through them with ease.  00:02:50 Melissa: Also in this program, it's a community of like minded mom founders, which makes a huge difference. This community is carefully curated so that your standards stay high, so that your company vision stays in place, so that no mom is left behind. That is my commitment to you. I absolutely want every single participant to finish the program. Unlike other programs where they might be on like digital shelf spaces collecting dust, this program is nine weeks live. You will see me every single week and you will have access to actionable insights to actually use these skills and put them into practice from day one. 00:03:37 Melissa: Okay, also in the program is a workbook where you're going to be working on imposter syndrome and how to navigate it. I fully believe that it's not something we could just erase and it's not something that we need to feel bad about. I think it's important to proactively navigate imposter syndrome and whether you are building relationships to get clients or building relationships to get podcast guests or to get investors. Those moments bring up several insecurities and I want to be sure that you can navigate the conversations with confidence with tools in your tool kit. Also in this program and so important to say you're going to have access to the on-demand curriculum for the rest of your life. So this is lifetime access and hint your kids can leverage these tools too. 00:04:25 Melissa: Also, you're going to have two months access after the program to an alumni online community. So you're going to stay connected to the same ladies that you took this course with for two months thereafter officially. And how cool is this? You will also be able to participate in almost like continuing education opportunities. So once a quarter, I will be doing a quarterly impact appreciation mixer. Here's what happens during these mixers. I'm going to invite a guest. Yes, likely someone from my podcast, to share their wisdom on networking building skills. I want to be sure that you have relevant, timely, and even like forward-looking skills at your fingertips. So by participating in this program, Fertile Imagination to Networking Success, you will have an opportunity to, you and your guests, attend these quarterly impact appreciation mixers four times in the course of a year and that can include after the program has ended. So I wanted to share what's involved in the nine week live group coaching program. 00:05:35 Melissa: I also wanted to say that in terms of participants, what they have told me is that they've been able to complete this program successfully with only three hours of time necessary every single week. So that's important. You'll see that in the FAQs. Just go to MelissaLlarena.com forward slash network. There you will have a lot of your questions answered and you can invest in Fertile Imagination to Networking Success. Should you have questions, reach out to me, absolutely. Doors close on September 27th at 5 p.m. Central Standard Time. And here's what happens at that point. For those who invest in Fertile Imagination to Networking Success between today and September 27th at 5 p.m. Central Standard Time, you will have three extra bonuses. 00:06:24 Melissa: Here are the bonuses. So if you've ever felt uncomfortable reaching out to people or putting yourself out there in social media, like LinkedIn, I have a rush up your LinkedIn profile bonus delivered by a LinkedIn expert and stand-up comedian impromptu person. So I love that bonus. The second one, get it off your plate. So I know as a mom, you have a lot of things on your plate right now and different business priorities. Building your network. Learning how to create profitable relationships can be the key to your success and the most energy efficient pathway there. And so I want to be sure that you make room for it on your plate. So I have a bonus for you again if you're investing by September 27th at 5pm, which is the absolute deadline where you will learn from an expert how to take things off your plate so that you can put networking and this program on your plate.  00:07:19 Melissa: The third bonus is about having  the ability to speak with more confidence and making bolder asks. So the idea is to leap to your goals and make big strides, not get there at a snail's pace. And for that, you have to ask older questions and you have to communicate more boldly. And so I have the third bonus available to those who invest by September 27th at 5pm central standard time. All in all, this program for our imagination to networking success is for a mom founder who wants to achieve business growth. You might be currently experiencing a plateau and you want that growth spurt because you want to achieve your goals by this year end. On top of that, you wanna achieve them in a very particular way. You don't want to drain yourself to the finish line and you don't want to completely ignore your obligations as a mom and commitment and desire to be a mom, nor should you have to. 00:08:19 Melissa: And that is why photo imagination to networking success requires expansive thinking. It requires my method, imagination to impact to income method. And that's also why it infuses the art of play because at the end of the day, if you are pursuing business growth, wild business growth, it is important to have resources available to you that can nip overwhelm in the bud and that can help you navigate interruptions and disruptions and distractions along the way. And that is why this program is unique because I am taking the position that if you bring all of yourself to your business goals right now and focus on building profitable relationships, you can knock them out of the park and retain a sense of integrity with the real you and what you originally intended to bring into the world. 00:09:11 Melissa: Instead of finding yourself in a place where you're at the whim of meta ads or you're at the whim of what everyone else has planned for business leaders around the world. So I invite you to go to MelissaLlarena.com forward slash network. I am excited about this program. I'm proud about this program. And I also cannot wait to hear what you hear, what you think about this week's episode. So enjoy the conversation, signing off, and check out all the resources in the show notes, MelissaLlarena.com forward slash network. Let's talk about how to make it work. For yourself as a mom who has an ambitious goal that you must achieve at the end of this year, and you have to also be a parent, a presence, a playful, a loving, and attention-giving mom. 00:10:03 Melissa: So I decided to bring along two podcast guests and this is somewhat of a new thing. This is a mashup. I have brought on this podcast episode, two leading ladies who are moms and business leader. So here's the thing, I've interviewed them before. So I'll include some of those clips in this episode. But first we have Zibby Owens. She is the CEO of Zibby Media. She was on episode 229. And we spoke about the missing leadership skills that are not taught in world-class business schools on that episode. Also in this episode, I have brought Liz Tenety, the co-founder of Motherly. And her and I spoke about these comparisons between launching and owning and scaling a business and scaffolding your family with support. So all of these reinforcements that we need to make things happen as moms with businesses. What I wanted to also do is interject my perspective here on how I personally have made it work over the course of 13 years. First starting out with a baby on my Ergo baby chest carrier at a sales meeting that I closed and my son also had a diaper blowout for. 00:11:29 Melissa: But then on top of that, being a mom now of three boys. So there was a time where then I had identical twins. So I wanna share my perspective as well in terms of how I have personally over the last 13 years, whether I've lived in the US or Australia, have made it work. Why do I do this? Why is it that I think these two voices and my own are so important in today's landscape of building a business? Having a family and feeling like you made a difference in your life and feeling like you accomplished your ultimate mission and found fulfillment with using the skills that you worked hard for in the real world and as a contribution to others.  00:12:14 Melissa: Here's why, because I want more of you. I want all of you. I want not just the mom in business to show up, you know, out there online, offline in the world, but I want the mom, the nurturer, the creative, the create tricks as a lot of them say, to go and show up bigger in the world because you're needed. There is no doubt in my mind that if you have an idea on your heart or you have already set your business in motion, that you were meant to lead the charge on that one endeavor and be an outstanding mom at the same time. So in this episode, what I'm going to do is share these different perspectives, one from Zibby Owens, the other from Liz Tenety, and then myself, your host, Melissa Llarena, so that you can make it work this year. Alrighty, here we go.  00:13:08 Melissa: So let's first listen to Zibby Owens. So I interviewed Zibby Owens, the CEO founder of Zibby Media in episode 229. And what I've done for you is just kind of curated the parts where we really got into the conversation of what was missing in terms of business school skills and lessons when it came to our realities of having children and building businesses at the same time. So this way you have context. I'm gonna go ahead and let you listen to that piece of the conversation, you could listen to the whole thing, 229, but I want you to listen to that portion of the conversation so that when you come back to me, you have a little bit of context. So go ahead and enjoy episode 229 with Zibby Owens.  00:14:05 Melissa: What would you say is the most valuable thing that you've learned as an entrepreneur, like doing it here in your space that you think should be taught in a business school?  00:14:14 Zibby: That's a great question. Because yes, I did take these things in business school and they, did they help me? Right, exactly. Like, I mean, honestly, I think they should teach you that you can watch a quick YouTube tutorial about literally anything and teach yourself how to do it. That is how I started a podcast. I was like, Google, you know, how to start a podcast. You know, how do I, you know, I watch videos all the time. Like we got locked out of the car the other day, and everyone's like, what should we do? And I was like, I'm sure there's a YouTube video about this. And like there was. So I think it's knowing that like there are so many experts in so many things that anything you wanna do, there is a guide.  00:14:59 Zibby: And now it's easier than ever to take people's advice and have them teach you. I think being open to learning and innovating, and this is something we learned is, you know, the ability to sort of shift gears and pay attention to market trends and da-da-da-da. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we learned that. But I feel like my cases in business school were like operational challenges and you know, the cranberry manufacturing and I was like, what? And then in our conversation, in our one class, it was called leadership, about all the ways that people led wrong. 00:15:42 Zibby: You know, and so I think about that, but I'm also like, I don't want to ever lead as the professional-only version of myself. Like, I've decided that the best way to lead is just to use myself, even if it's my mom's skills, in the workplace. Like, I feel like I lead as a mom, and I feel like it has only made me a better leader, and they don't talk about that at business school at all. There is something about like taking care of people and gathering people and the softer skills or moments. Like with my company, I decided like three days a week, we all like take a break and go and have a nice lunch together. Like every week, that's what we do. It's part of our culture. It's just like what we do. 00:16:29 Zibby: And I have them to my home and we sit around my dining room table and have lunch. And it's so nice. And it's like, I wanna take care of them. I want to treat my teammates like my most important dinner guests, because that's what they are. They are so important. And why would you treat an employee any differently than that? Like if you don't want to have them, if you don't feel like they deserve that, they probably then should not be working for you. Do you know what I mean? So, and leaving, like I leave every day at 2:30 and go pick up my kids. And I get it all done the rest of the day, but like, do I need to be in the office? So I just think there are so many things we could have learned about there are ways to make it work.  00:17:10 Zibby: And finding flexible environments and,  leading by example and making it work. And, and then I guess just always, like, I think that businesses, leading a business is like raising a kid in that as soon as you feel like you have it down, everything changes, right? I've got it. And now suddenly they're a year older and I don't know what I'm doing again and none of the clothes fit. Like I have to start again, are you kidding me? And that's what it's like in business. Like things are constantly changing. Oh, okay, maybe it's an external change that's impacting the organization. Maybe it's an internal growth change, but we have to be ready to like run to the gap and get new clothes.  00:18:00 Melissa: It's so funny. I was just telling a client yesterday that using your imagination is like the perfect change management tool. Like, I mean, so many people that have businesses are able to just go from one thing to another quite quickly, you know, just really edit, change, refocus, and then not feel like, kind of like, I don't know, maybe it's just me. Like for me, I would kind of feel like, man, I did it wrong, embarrassed, you know, like I was going this way and now I'm like, no longer doing this thing. What people gonna think? 00:18:37 Melissa: You know, and so I think that's something else that stops you. And the same could be said when you're at a target and your kids have a meltdown and you have a choice. Be the mom that you intended to be in front of other people or care what they think and then be that another kind of mom. It's the parallels are striking between motherhood and entrepreneurship for sure.So on that point, I'm just curious, like can we name the superpower that you got from being a mom that you apply in business? What would you name that superpower? 00:19:13 Zibby: Being humble. 100%. The superpower is the ability to constantly learn and change, honestly. I mean, you have to constantly adapt to changing conditions as a mom. So adaptability. Yeah, I think, constantly being able to regroup, to do lots of things at once, and to deal with things that are ultimately out of your control, even when you care. 00:19:51 Melissa: Yeah, and that's when it's like the hardest, right? It's like when it's your heart, when it's your name, when it's, you know, the Zibby verse, right? It's different than if it were this third party entity. And I think we can close the conversation there because I think right now a lot of listeners are probably wondering to themselves, like, holy cow, maybe there is value in my, like, super regular mom life moments. Maybe I could write a story, right?  00:20:20 Zibby: So much value. So much value.  00:20:23 Melissa: So much value. And I think now the onus might be on people that have these, like, MBAs and things to put that value in, like, an income statement. Like, goodwill at least, right? Like, just, like, find a place to demonstrate that, you know, if we use the success markers of the world, like finances and money and all that, like how can we translate that to like real income, financial, you know, security for moms? I mean, I think the value is so clear. And so my hope, my intention is through your stories, Zibby, through this conversation that anyone listening feels like, you know what, heck yeah, I matter. I matter. And I think that's so true. Thank you so, so much, Zibby. This was amazing. 00:21:11 Melissa: When I was having that conversation with Zibby, it was resonating for me at a very, very... How should I put it? Honest level, right? And here's why, because when you go into the business world, when you're attending these world-class business schools, a lot of what's discussed ends up being irrelevant at times if you decide to launch your own business. And it certainly becomes impractical if you become a mom and you have a business.  00:21: 43 Melissa: And that is the reason why I wanted to really just hone in on the idea that Zibby attended world-class university, as did I, world-class business school as well. And we did not know that ultimately, when it came to building a business, and growing our respective families, it was really important to have and bring a sense of humility. You heard Zibby say that superpower that you have also as a mom. I mean, our kids humble us all the time. I would say I am constantly humbled and reminded that I am not in control of every single thing that my kids do or do not do. And that's something that is not taught in business schools, but it's something that we certainly appreciate and realize as moms.  00:22:31 Melissa: The other idea is this. So Zibby mentioned adaptability. And what I love about that is when I was coaching a former CEO of a huge city bike organization, she told me that the number one skill or characteristic of a successful entrepreneur is the ability to adapt, to be nimble. And isn't it interesting how, as a mom, we might not realize that that is a core skill that we learn, and if we don't learn it, we continue to reap the rewards of the lessons and ultimately can bring to the table if we do decide to launch a business or scale our business, or just live life as a mom. So I want you to just hone in on that idea that this is another superpower that is not realized and underutilized and not appreciated as a contribution. You can also give by way of your talent as a business owner. 00:23:29 Melissa: The third superpower that I wanted to just pull out cause I think it's so important is this idea of making peace that not everything is within your control. As a business owner, I will say this. When it comes to your business, if you literally have your name on the shingles, and I hope I'm saying that right, you honestly are going to take a lot of things personally because your name is on the line. Your reputation is on the line. When it comes to our children, and right now I'm noticing so many people going back to college or going to college, and it's like we're sharing all these successes, and maybe our kids went to these amazing schools. And again, it's personal. It's like, yeah, we were part of their success in getting in these amazing schools.  00:24:15 Melissa: Well, here's the thing, by way of your business, by way of what's within, what's outside of your control, it's really important to understand that there's an emotional residue on that. And here's what I mean by that. So when it comes to doing anything, like this video right here or this podcast, right? For me, what's outside of my control. What's outside of my control is that you will continue to listen. What's within my control is that I prepare for this conversation. And at the end of the day, it does matter to me because this is my voice, and this is what's on my heart and what I wanna share with you as a fellow mom founder.  00:24:51 Melissa: But it's something that I had to learn to let go of through the power of surrender. And as a mom, I think that is something that we constantly have to do. And as a business leader, it's mentally helpful because, really, relinquishing control is the name of the game when it comes to delegating. 00:25:12 Melissa: And it's also important when you've done everything in your power in order to make something successful. So that is another superpower that Zibby mentions in that snippet of the interview that I would love for you to just write down and say to yourself, "Yeah, I have that superpower, and it's because I am a mom." 00:25:32 Melissa: The other thing I wanted to just kind of reinforce is this idea. Zibby mentioned that she learned so many soft skills, leadership skills from being a mom to four children. And what I think is so amazing about that is when I had a conversation with Beth Comstock earlier, earlier on this podcast, and I'll put in the show notes all of these links, Beth mentioned that being a mom taught her to be more patient. So there's all these skills, all these superpowers that we have and bring as moms that I really wish we would be confident enough to bring to a professional setting so that we can get further along in our ambitions and we can make it work.  00:26:19 Melissa: So here's where I net with this. When it comes to navigating change, when it comes to experiencing uncertainty as a business leader, Zibby did say that motherhood, being a mom to a kid, oh my goodness, that is all about change, all about uncertainty. I'll give you a really tangible example, and Zibby mentioned this. 00:26:40 Melissa: So change, right? Let's say you go, you buy your child size four kids shoes. Well, chances are they're gonna grow out of it before you expected them to. And so again, now we go shoe shopping once more and find another pair of shoes. Same idea. Like, let's say you figured out how to have the two kids not rival, right? Sibling rivalry. And you figured out this great trick where you interrupted them. Okay, that's gonna work for a limited period of time. And then again, the next season of life, you have to figure that out again. So this is something that's common in motherhood. And this is something that is just the way business is done right now, given the speed of the world and given the fact that markets are changing all the time. I mean, put a post on Instagram, and you see that one week of certain type of post is gonna work very well and another week is gonna totally flock. So change. 00:27:31 Melissa: Again, something that, as a mom, we have to get very good at and we are very good at. We don't realize it's a superpower that we can bring to the table. And so my intention behind this conversation and next up we'll have another female leader that I admire who's a mom and share her perspective. But my intention here is this, I want you to just realize that you are a mom and you bring certain skills that are marketable as heck. And yeah, that's a businessy word. What do I mean by that? 00:28:00 Melissa: Valuable. They can add value as a business owner. And I don't want you to undersell yourself and say to yourself, well, that old thing, I just do that in my sleep. Because not everyone does what you do with such ease and with such ability to provide an impact. So please appreciate what you bring to the table. Again, this is gonna be part of my perspective on making it work. And I'm gonna tie it up at the end of this conversation. 00:28:29 Melissa: Next up we have Liz Tenety. She is the co-founder of Motherly. And I interviewed her on episode 243. And I'm gonna go ahead and let you listen to that snippet right now, and I would love to draw your attention to a couple of concepts. One idea is the following. 00:28:49 Melissa: We talked about how being a business owner and leader helped her be a better family leader, right? And she spoke about this notion of really figuring out your support system and the resources you need in place in order to achieve your biggest and boldest, and baddest dream. On top of that, she also mentioned how burnout, like you could be in the risk, at the risk of burnout, if you do not feel supported. And it's so interesting because this has almost like physical manifestations too. If you've ever had... This is so like Dr. Melissa, although I'm not a doctor, but if you ever had like lower back issues, like that could be like a sign that psychologically there's a lack of support there.  00:29:36 Melissa: So I turn this to Liz now. She's going to share how she thinks about scaffolding support around her family. And she's also going to share how she has learned how to be a better family leader because she is a business leader and how she has re-imagined time as a business leader and has translated the same concept into her family life alongside her husband so that they have a nice work-life integration.  00:30:07 Melissa: So that was a mouthful. Enjoy the conversation. It's just a snippet. If you want the entire conversation, that is episode 243. But at this time, I want you to just capture the essence of what we spoke about so that you can then have context about how you can make it work and what other sort of resources and learnings, and lessons you can apply to make your life wonderful, magnificent, and truly fulfilled both as a mom and a business owner. So go ahead and check out that conversation with Liz Tenety. 00:30:44 Liz: So I guess over the decade that I've been a mom and an entrepreneur, I've learned how to think really creatively about time. And all like working moms know that all of a sudden we can get a whole day's worth of work done in just a few hours. And that kind of may have seemed impossible before motherhood, but we just get this incredible focus. So I have been there. I mean, when I was a new working mom, I could not afford full-time childcare. So I had four hours in the morning, I had lunch with my son, and then I worked as hard as I could during his two-hour nap, right? So I kind of got to seven hours of work, working that way, just working around nap time. 00:31:28 Liz: I also have joined gyms where there's two hours of childcare and a little café that you can sit in. And so for like 200 bucks a month, you get two hours of childcare a day, whether or not you work out, which is a pretty great deal. YMCAs have free childcare and are really affordable in a lot of communities. So I would think I would not bat an eye at doing that. I've also heard of entrepreneur moms setting up childcare swaps with other entrepreneurs. So one mom takes the kids one day, another mom the next.  00:32:06 Melissa: I also just encourage people to think about what they really need help with. Cause sometimes I think, Do I really need more childcare and to spend $1,000 next week on full-time childcare? Or do I need to assign this project to my VA or hire someone on Upwork to get this job done, right? I also think looking at the weekends, which can often get taken over by kid activities, but my husband and I are working hard now to make sure that we each have designated time on the weekends to ourselves so that we can recover a little bit from the week and be able to be more intentional with our kids. So I guess not that I have an easy answer, but trying to think really creatively about your team, your time, where to find really dedicated pockets of time. 00:32:59 Liz: Lastly, I work from home. I've worked full-time from home for 12 years since becoming a mom. But this afternoon, I'm going to a cafe because, talk about this space-time continuum, I can somehow be so much more creative and productive when I can put my headphones on and get a latte and sit down and crank workout in a cafe environment. That energy is really good for me creatively. And so again, it is about energy, it is about time, it is about money, and all those things kind of intersect and just encouraging people to use their creativity.  00:33:34 Liz: Also, ChatGPT is blowing my mind every single day. And so when I have thorny questions of how do I solve this weird problem that I've never even talked to someone about, ChatGPT is surprising me with what it's able to suggest. So even AI tools and things like that are able to kind of introduce serendipity into our lives when we realize that no great company is built alone. 00:34:00 Liz: And in a lot of ways for me, I learned better how to run my family and think about what it means to lead a family by running a company and seeing no one can... I can't scale a startup by myself. I need talent to be in their zone of genius, and we need to work together on a shared mission, and that over time is how I've tried to operate our family more and more intentionally, learning from running my company.  00:34:25 Melissa: I love that. That's the opposite direction or the other direction that Zibby Owens suggested. So Zibby Owens was on Mom Founder Imagination Hub, and she was saying how being a stay at home mom has helped her build out her business and the Zibby-verse, right? So that's like one direction. And then now you are sharing how it helps in the opposite direction too, right? So founding the business, building the business, being a mom.  00:34:55 Melissa: And I feel like I'm kind of in between because I literally launched my business with my firstborn on my chest. Like, I went to that first sales meeting with my baby in my Ergobaby, and he had a diaper blowout, and I closed the sale. But you know, Manhattan is all the better for that experience in that moment. But I love this, I love this. And you know what? You have a fertile imagination, to say the least. 00:35:24 Melissa: I really enjoyed that conversation myself when I was speaking with Liz because of a couple of reasons. For me, what resonated was this realization that it can go both ways. Like I was reminded, and you heard that in the conversation, I was reminded of the conversation I had with Zibby Owens, episode 229, when Zibby had mentioned she learned how to be a very nurturing and effective people leader because she was a mom and she was a better leader for it. And so when I brought that back into the conversation with Liz, something sparked inside of me, which was, I should really do this mashup for listeners cause I think there's value in providing a different layer or lens to a former conversation.  00:36:09 Melissa: So with Liz's points, I wanted to just highlight these ideas. And it's this notion of thinking about time differently. So as a business leader, I will say that the amount of work that I've been able to pull off has been sensational in terms of my leverage of AI and my leverage of resources on different freelancing websites. And I have had to make peace with the fact that, okay, there's not this, catch 22, make money first, and then pay for launch campaign materials to be created. There has to be a place where I'm confident enough to take a risk in myself, knowing full well that I can make it work. So once I spend the money, I can then find a way to make it a profitable endeavor.  00:37:03 Melissa: And thinking about time in that fashion is quite amazing because Liz shared that you might need to pay for resources just to prevent you getting into burnout. And isn't that worthy enough and as worthy as any other investment in your business and in your mom life?  00:37:26 Melissa: The other thing I wanted to just say in terms of time and in terms of talent, which is what Liz pointed to, was this idea that there are resources available for you out there. And what I have found is that oftentimes, there's this hesitation. It's kind of like, What will people think? Or this hesitation of, I could really do that if I just sacrifice my sleep or I sacrifice my weekend. And yeah, you absolutely can do a lot of things because you've made things work in the past. However, there have been consequences. And so on that note, I think what Liz was sharing, which is this notion of scaffolding. And being someone from New York City, I just imagine blue scaffolding everywhere in Manhattan. I think it's important to consider that as part of your wellness plan. I think it's part of your business building endeavor. I think that is how you make it work.  00:38:27 Melissa: It's not about working yourself and white knuckling. In order for you to work, you need to have the resources in place in order to have the bandwidth to include things like conversations with prospective clients, to include things like networking. So there's a lot of things that go into building a business that you can translate into how you manage and navigate family life. And Liz called this out, but I, in my work, as far as using my framework, my method, which is called the 'Imagination to Impact Income Method', a lot of what I have to do is carve totally new paths because the reality is while today, this Melissa right here, who is speaking right into your ear, I am totally in a different spot than I was as a younger Melissa. 00:39:25 Melissa: I wasn't raised into a family with so many resources and access to so many influential human beings. And in this conversation, it's evidence of the fact that I've had to open doors, ask for doors to be open, go through windows. I mean, God knows what I've had to do in order to secure conversations with people like Zibby Owens and Liz Tenety. But at the same time, I've also had to figure out for myself how to create or build scaffolding around my family and not feel shame or embarrassment because no one else in my family has done the same thing. So there's a lot, a lot, a lot that I could go through in terms of Tenety's or in terms of Liz's recommendations.  00:40:13 Melissa: But I wanted to just point out that idea that if you do not feel supported, that can lead to burnout. And Liz also mentioned earlier in the conversation of 243 that for her, it meant friendships. And that's something that I'm working on myself because I've moved quite a bit. So that's something that is on my top priority list right now as well. 00:40:36 Melissa: So I just shared with you two conversations that I had with two leading ladies in this business world who have kids, right? So Zibby has four kids, Liz has five kids, and I have three. And I will say that I wanted to share with you my perspective on how to make it work. So here, over the course of the last 13 years, having had at first one child to then three, because I've identical twins, so it happened in one fell swoop. This is how I have been able to make it work. And this is something that I'm pulling in from those two conversations, both Zibby and Liz. And also the fact that I've spoken to 240 people on this podcast with different perspectives on how they have been able to make anything work. 00:41:28 Melissa: So point number one, and I'll just give you three big, big ideas here. So the first one is that we need to do a better job of resourcing ourselves. We have almost everything that we need right under our noses. And I think in terms of being a mom, this is something that we don't even think about and it's not our fault at all because it's not a topic of conversation.  00:41:58 Melissa: It’s, no one is telling me, hey, Melissa, did you realize that...your son is really good at Canva and he could actually help you whip up a nice little slide to share all the PR that you've gotten in the last 13 years, whereas you right now are banging your head on a computer trying to figure out how to make a slide pretty. Like no one is telling me this, but guess what? This summer, my eldest, I had him intern for me and that's actually something that he helped me do in like milliseconds, right?  00:42:33 Melissa: So resourcing ourselves, how to make it work is point number one. We have so much available to us as moms. Here's something that is so important that I think is never talked about. We talk about our kids' imaginations, right? And so it's this lovely thing that we just say, wow, they have the ability to like, imagine themselves as pirates and the floor is lava, et cetera. But what...what if, what if, what if that imagination that our kids have can serve us in our businesses? What if hanging out with your kids can be part of your competitive advantage, a business strategy so that you can come up with a better business idea or something more innovative, certainly something that is simpler to describe, right?  00:43:23 Melissa: What if that were possible? So resourcing yourself and knowing that you have resources. Also our kids, what do they do for us? They ground us. You heard Zibby about humility, they ground us. If you forgot who you really are, hang out with your kids and they will quickly remind you that you are a mom. So they ground us. And isn't it interesting how if we feel stress or anxiety and we go and ask a child for a hug as an example, typically we will feel a sense of calm, a sense of joy, a sense of love. So isn't that interesting? We have resources that we're not using enough.  00:44:02 Melissa: The other thing is this philosophy that, you know, we're able to make anything work for our kids. Isn't it interesting how, if we're able to make anything work for our kids, then you could apply the same skill, the same notion, the same idea to make things work for ourselves. Yet we seldom do that. We seldom do that, right? We could pull out all the stops for our kids, but then when it comes to ourselves, why is it that we don't leverage the same resources?  00:44:29 Melissa: So, you know, I think it's really important for me to also say this. As I've spoken with people from around the world, and this is a global conversation because having witnessed a library filled of kids and tired moms in Australia, and the same set up in the US with my own kids and libraries here, I know that a lot of us have similar emotions running through our bodies. And I know that a lot of us have a lot of superpowers as well. And when I've spoken to all these people on my podcast, what I have realized is the following three ideas, which is that these resources I mentioned before and superpowers that we spoke about earlier, both Liz mentioned superpowers and then also Zibby did as well. They're so underutilized, so underutilized.  00:45:16 Melissa: And it's, Again, not your fault because no one is having this conversation. No one is telling you hug your child and reduce your anxiety in that instance. No one is saying that. Here's the second thing. You have a gear. I have a gear. We all have gears, but here's the challenge. We don't have a lot of energy right now. And that I would say is such an impediment. And I think needs to be a priority when it comes to building a business, building a family and making anything work. The other idea is the following. 00:45:46 Melissa: So in terms of asking, making bold asks, asking for help, being around people who are light years ahead of you in terms of mentorship, I think we need to do a better job of asking more boldly. We need to do a better job of asking for what we want. Sometimes even being totally irrational and like just out of control, outrageous. If you don't ask for what you need and what you want, and I mean, for real, I'm not saying like mouse around the topic, then you are a 100% not going to get the support that you need, the sense of belonging that you want, the connection that we all long for, and the support, again, it's worth saying twice, that is necessary for any mom who wants to build a business and also be the leader of her family. 00:46:35 Melissa: And so I wanted to just kind of wrap it up right there. I just shared with you both Liz's perspective on scaffolding your family and what she learned as a business leader that she applies to her family and what Zibby has learned as a mom. She was a stay at home mom before for years in terms of building her business and being a nurturing people leader who wants to have dinner conversations with her team. 00:47:02 Melissa: And for me, I think all of this, all of this comes to this one conclusion. It is important for you to understand that you can bring your whole self to the table. And I don't care about what that table looks like or where that table is situated, whether it is a boardroom, it is a investor meeting, it is a PTA, if that is the correct way of saying it these days. 00:47:29 Melissa: I think it is so important to bring the whole of you to the table because, because as a mom with a business, that is your competitive advantage. If you can sit in a boardroom, if you can sit in an investor meeting and have the confidence necessary to, as a very tangible example, bring up a scenario that makes sense. It's a testament to your character, a small talk during an investor meeting that comes from your mom life category bucket and maybe break through, you know, the conversation with bringing a more human perspective to how you will serve your prospective clients, you might stand out and you might get that funding, right?  00:48:10 Melissa: Here's the other idea in terms of bringing the whole of you, not just one part of you to any table as a business leader and as a mom. Let's just imagine that you're out there on the soccer field and you're doing your mom thing this weekend, and you overhear a conversation where it's a business conversation. What's stopping you from interjecting your perspective in that business conversation? You could be the difference between an insight that produces millions of dollars for that person versus an insight that gets lost and taken by a competition or a competitor.  00:48:46 Melissa: So, I don't want you to feel like you have to pretend you're not a mom. I don't want you to feel like you don't have something to bring to the table because it's been a couple of years since you've been out of the market. There's no reason for it except our own narrative that we're telling ourselves in our minds. And I want to be sure that you have the support that you need, the resources you need, and a new perspective, a fresh perspective on how to actually achieve what you want this year.  00:49:14 Melissa: On that note, I want to invite you, from my mom in business heart to your mom in business heart to really, really invest in yourself. I am producing a nine week live coaching program for mom founders. It is getting started very, very soon. You're going to see social media all over about it. I want you to get on my email list and be sure that you are aware of the resources available to you, a mom founder, and the better way to actually achieve business growth, and the better way to actually make whatever goal you have from a business perspective this year doable at the end of the year, and doable with the energy that you need, and doable without neglecting anyone, anyone including yourself, your family or anyone else that you care for.  00:50:13 Melissa: So the program name is called Fertile Imagination to Networking Success. I wanna be sure that I share with you everything that is available in this program. Here's the trick. You are only needed for three hours each week. That is what my clients who have participated in this nine week group coaching program have shared with me. They've...only had to put in about three hours of their week, hours, every single week in order to get phenomenal results.  00:50:47 Melissa: During this program, what happens is the following. We're going to walk through the imagination to impact to income method for you, a mom in business, and the focus where we're gonna apply all our imagination, our expansive thinking is in building profitable relationships. I want to just say that if I had a flag that I could just put on the moon and I could say, this is my flag and this is what matters and this is what I think really works for moms in business, it is the ability to network proactively and network in a way that's not sleazy but is totally genuine and value add into directions. 00:51:30 Melissa: Because I believe that the stronger our bonds are with people outside of our current circles, the stronger, the better off our kids will be when they have a business idea they wanna execute, when they feel alone in a country and they've studied abroad and you know someone in Oslo, when they you know, want to see someone else's perspective, someone else who has been there. So I don't see building profitable relationships and networking and what I teach over the course of the nine weeks as a purely transactional business skill. I see it as a legacy building resource that will give and give and give and give.  00:52:11 Melissa: Over the course of nine weeks, what will happen is every single week, we would go through a topic that is important in terms of coming up with a better story to tell, finding the right people to connect with, finding where they are and knowing what to say when you're in front of them. 00:52:26 Melissa: Also, we cover the art of asking better questions so that this way you are completely in a place of an optimized conversation that gets the ball rolling in terms of your business growth or whatever your objective might be. Also, I've included the opportunity to really work on imposter syndrome. Here's why I think that's important and why it's different than anything I've seen in the past. Imposter syndrome, I even did a LinkedIn poll. I asked, “does it ever go away?” I got a 100% no. Impostor syndrome does not go away according to everyone polled on LinkedIn. And that is the reason why as a mom, what I have noticed is you could be the baddest person in the boardroom. The moment you become a mom, I don't know what comes over us, but all our insecurities just kind of like emerged to the top of our brain. 00:53:19 Melissa:  And what happens is that they're very hard to get rid of when you're in business. Like, let's say you just, just, just, you know, had a really tough conversation with your child and now you're walking into an investment conversation. It's no wonder you're gonna feel a little bit like a fraud, a little bit uncomfortable and awkward and insecure if you just had that moment with your teen or tween. And that is why in my group coaching program, so this way you get confident enough to have conversations with high profile prospective clients or collaborators or partners or even podcast guests, I've ensured that you have a resource, a method to actually navigate imposter syndrome for what it is in the moment and in your reality as a mom.  00:54:07 Melissa: Because that has been something that has made us very stoppable during situations when we have had to be unstoppable in order to get real business growth in a short period of time. In this group coaching program, I also have here bonuses. So I've collaborated with other mom founders who have been in business for quite some time. And I've had them create exclusive bonuses just for us, those participants in that nine week group coaching program, where you will have an opportunity to literally learn how to be more bold in terms of your communication skills and be more bold in terms of the things that you ask help with and for.  00:54:46 Melissa: You will also, as way of you know, ensuring that you are successful during this program, you will also have an opportunity to know how to get things off your plate because here's the reality of the matter. When it comes to everything that you have lodged in your mind for things that you have to do, chances are you don't have to actually do them all. That's just like a fun secret there. And so I wanted to bring in an expert who's gonna help you take things off your plate so you can add this group coaching program to the plate or frankly, anything you desire to do with that extra time.  00:55:20 Melissa: And I've also brought in a hilarious, and I know LinkedIn and hilarious doesn't necessarily get spoken of in the same sentence, but I've brought in a hilarious LinkedIn presence expert who's a mom as well, and who shared what's necessary when it comes to having a positive first impression by way of your LinkedIn presence. Because a lot of the work that we would do in the group coaching program will, will include reaching out to people to connect with them and turn them from contacts to connections for the long term to support your business. And so a lot of that will include some LinkedIn activity. So I wanna be sure that you're set up for success.  00:55:59 Melissa: So at this time, if this program, Fertile Imagination to Networking Success is something that you know you need because maybe you've been in business for a year, two or three or five or six or more, and you have come to this place where you need that push. Like at this point, it's like you need to get from whatever gear you're into another in order to meet your year end goals, then I encourage you right now to go to melissallarena.com/network  You can absolutely ask me anything. I'm available via DM on Instagram. All of this is in the show notes. I am also available via email and that will be in the show notes. Do you know where show notes are? If you're looking at this, then you're gonna see it in the description of YouTube. But if you're listening to me, you're gonna see this on your device, your cell phone in the description area of iTunes or Spotify.  00:56:53 Melissa: So go ahead and reach out to me and ask me anything because there's a timeline. You will only be able to make a decision on participating in this group coaching program Fertile Imagination to Networking Success until September 27th at 5 P.M. Central Standard Time. That is it. That is when there is no more opportunity to enter this group coaching program where you will have the support that you need from like-minded mom founders because it's a group coaching program. Where you will have a new way of growing business, which is through the art of profitable relationship building using my method, which works for us moms who need to carve a path that we have never seen before.  00:57:35 Melissa: So, go ahead and go to melissallarena.com/network If this conversation really, really got you thinking about how you want to design your mom life in business, I wanna hear from you today. I really wanna hear from you today. So go ahead, reach out to me. Again, Instagram is a very easy way to do so, Melissa Llarena.  00:57:57 Melissa: And definitely I hope that this conversation inspires you to realize that you can make it work, you can make it work. If you heard it from Zibby, if you heard it from Liz, and now if you're hearing it from me, you can make it work. And I don't want you to feel like you don't have any support. I don't want you to feel like you don't have everything it takes in terms of credentials and resources. And I don't want you to feel like you have to, you know…reinvent the wheel because I have a method that I can teach you to use the imagination to impact income method and I have a way to actually take you from how you feel right now about your business building activities, maybe you're in a plateau to achieving a remarkable growth spurt by the end of this year and beyond and here's something that I don't tell anyone, you know these skills that I'm teaching you in this nine week group coaching experience. 00:58:58 Melissa: I've even taught them to my kids as well. And I know that if that's one thing that I can feel really, really comfort in, it's that, that they will know how to go from contact to connection with anyone in the world, and they will always have people around them who wanna be part of their success story. And on my end, I would be honored to be part of your success story.  00:59:26 Melissa: So go ahead, learn about the program, melissallarena.com/network and reach out to me should you have any questions. If you're listening to this on iTunes or Spotify, definitely just hit that follow button or be sure to hit that I want to hear episodes every Tuesday button. However, my read today, do that because that makes our relationship official, kind of like going from casual dating to like, oh no, now we're boyfriend and girlfriend, but like, you know, podcast format.  00:59:59 Melissa: If you're on YouTube and you're watching me and if you're looking at these earrings, these are like circle earrings. I wore these earrings when I interviewed Gary Vaynerchuk and he actually commented on them. Fun fact, that was episode 10. Then I encourage you to hit the subscribe button because once you subscribe to this channel, then every Tuesday you will get a brand new episode.Also, I encourage you to hit the bell. You're gonna see a bell there. And that bell is just gonna notify you when something is new.  01:00:27 Melissa: And I also want you to just know that by following me, by subscribing, like  you're encouraging me. You are giving me the confidence and the desire to put on makeup, right? This is YouTube. And you're also giving me the confidence and the desire to like...have all the guts I can to invite people like Liz and like Zibby on this podcast. And it takes guts and it takes energy, but I'm energized by your support. I am so energized by your support.  01:00:57 Melissa: So if you're interested in the group coaching experience, again, doors absolutely closed September 27th at 5 P.M. Central Standard Time. Just go to melissallarena.com/network and I hope you got a lot of out of this conversation. Thank you so much.