216. Are Kids Really “Mad”… or Is Their Brain Just Guessing?

Kids say “I feel bad” all the time. But what does that actually mean for their brain and their behaviour?   In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline breaks down how the brain builds emotions and why teaching kids to move from “I feel bad” to “I feel overwhelmed / uncertain / left out” is a game-changer for emotional regulation.   Drawing on brain science and day-to-day stories from classrooms and families, she explains: ·       How the brain compresses huge amounts of sensory data into simple emotional categories ·       Why kids (and adults) often feel “angry” or “anxious” without knowing why ·       What “emotion granularity” is and how it gives kids more control over their reactions ·       The link between the body budget (sleep, hydration, exhaustion) and emotional meltdowns ·       Practical ways to help children notice body sensations and match them with accurate emotion words   You’ll hear simple tools you can use right away to build emotional literacy in homes, classrooms, and therapy sessions.   Perfect for anyone who want science-based, relatable ways to help kids and teens understand what they’re feeling and what to do about it. Free Resource (to help with homework below!): Emotional Literacy Workbook (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy) Homework Ideas Daily Emotion Check-Ins (Kids & Teens)Build short, regular emotion check-ins into the day—morning, midday, and evening at home; or every class / every hour at school.Ask: “How are you feeling right now?” then guide kids to move beyond “good/bad/mad” to a more specific word.“Where do you feel it in your body?” Build Emotion Vocabulary & GranularityUse the feelings wheel or emotion charts during the day when kids are calm, not only when they’re upset.Play quick “name the feeling” games:“Pick one word from the wheel that matches how you felt at recess.” “Choose a word for how you feel before this test.” Body Mapping & Interoception PracticeDraw a simple outline of a body. Ask:“Where do you feel this emotion?”“What does it feel like there? Tight, heavy, buzzy, hot, cold?”Help kids link body cues to emotions and needs:“Heavy chest = overwhelmed?”“Jittery legs = excited or nervous?” Dr. Caroline’s personal example from the episode: o  A “crushing feeling” in her chest often signals overwhelm and too much on her plate. o  A “breaking” feeling in her chest usually means exhaustion after very little sleep. o  She then uses those cues to decide: “Do I need to reprioritize my day, or do I need to rest?” Body Budget Check Before jumping to “big emotion” explanations, check:Sleep: “How much did you sleep last night?”Hydration: “Have you had water today?”Food: “When was the last time you ate?”Load: “Is your day too full?” If a child says “I feel scared,” also scan for: Are they dehydrated? Exhausted? Hungry? Respond differently if the body budget is off (water, snack, rest, schedule changes) before jumping into problem-solving the situation. Adult Self-Practice: Modelling Emotion Granularity Replace “I’m just so stressed” with more precise language:“I feel overwhelmed because I have too much on my plate.”“I feel exhausted from not sleeping enough.” Say it out loud in front of kids so they see the full process: sensation → emotion word → action plan. ·        Turn Feelings into Action Plans Once kids have named the emotion more clearly, ask about what they need. If they're unsure, help them brainstorm ideas:“If you feel left out, what might help? Inviting someone to play, talking to a teacher, or taking a break?”“If you feel overwhelmed, what do you need? Should we break this task into smaller steps?” Goal: o  Move from broad “bad” to specific emotion + specific next step. o  Repeat often enough that the brain learns this sequence as a habit. Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/ X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuz Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/ Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resources Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/ Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/