199. Why doesn’t “stop and think” work? And what should we do instead?

In this episode of #Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline breaks down self-regulation into its three essential parts—cognitive, emotional, and behavioural—and explains why emotional overload can derail even the best intentions. Learn how executive functions like attention, working memory, and impulse control interact with emotions and behaviors, why common strategies fall short, and what actually helps kids (and adults) build lasting regulation skills. This episode sets the stage for real, effective support, especially for emotional intensity. Homework Ideas Delay Gratification Challenge Set up small daily challenges that build delay tolerance—e.g., “Wait 10 minutes before dessert,” or “Finish one task before checking your phone.” Model it yourself too. Track Hot vs. Cold Brain States Observe kids across the day and label whether they’re in a “hot” (emotional, reactive) or “cold” (calm, thinking) brain state. Identify physical or emotional clues that suggest which brain is active. Review patterns together at the end of the week to identify triggers or strengths. Use this to plan to proactively target, teach, and/or reinforce regulation skills. Have kids help too - building awareness of their internal states is the first step toward better self-regulation. Ideas of what to track: Date Time of Day/Activity Brain State (Hot or Cold?) Clues I Noticed (e.g., heart racing, calm body, fast talking) Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzanko IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzanko Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/ X: https://x.com/drcarolinebuz Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/ Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/#resources Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/ Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/