160. How can kids master their emotions like pro athletes?

In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, we continue our journey beyond perfectionism and discuss how to help kids use those perfectionistic, binary, all-or-nothing thoughts to their advantage. I share insights from sports psychology to help kids stop freezing up under pressure and instead focus on what they can control—effort, action, and showing up. Learn how to turn rigid thinking into growth opportunities by asking the right questions, celebrating small wins, and setting realistic, manageable steps. Discover simple strategies to help kids build resilience and confidence, not by avoiding failure but by embracing every experience as a chance to learn. Prefer to watch on YouTube? And, check out this week’s homework to help kids use perfectionism’s rigid, binary thinking to become more flexible. Choose at least one task to model and reinforce these concepts throughout the week. Reframe the Questions You Ask Instead of asking outcome-focused questions like “Did you get a goal?” or “What was your grade?”, shift to questions that emphasize effort and participation. Use prompts like “Did you enjoy playing?” or “How did you feel about your effort today?” This helps children focus on their involvement and personal growth rather than just the final result. Create “Did You or Did You Not” Targets Identify everyday tasks where the outcome can be defined simply as “Did you or did you not?” For instance, “Did you play the game?” rather than “Did you win?” or “Did you hand in your assignment?” instead of “Did you get it perfect?” At this point of learning to manage perfectionism, simplifying goals helps reduce pressure by focusing on participation and completion rather than perfection.  Model Binary Thinking with Your Own Tasks Demonstrate this shift in thinking with your own tasks. Verbalize your actions aloud. Children learn a lot from observing adults. Modeling this thinking reinforces the approach in real-life contexts. Set Up “Try Something New” Challenges Encourage the child to try something new each week where the focus is purely on participation. Examples include trying a new hobby, playing a game, or attempting a new skill. This builds resilience and shows kids that trying is valuable, regardless of immediate success. Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/