Vanessa Bennett on Codependency and Trauma Bonds — Are They Tied To A Past Life Or Soul’s Contract?

Sherry and Carla kick off this week with some TV talk about what they are currently watching and loving and then take a Love Fix Question on long-distance relationships. They then welcome Vanessa Bennett, Licensed Holistic Therapist, and codependency Expert, as well as co-host of the Cheaper Than Therapy podcast. Vanessa made the transition from corporate to wellness after years of doing her own inner work while always feeling like she was teetering on the edge of burnout. Described as the “cold water on the face” therapist, she gives it to us raw this week talking about codependency, the archetypes behind being a martyr and trauma bonding, and the importance of having a connection to something greater than yourself.   What You’ll Hear In This Episode: A Love Fix Question about long-distance relationships, and Carla’s first-hand advice as someone who had one and made it work! Vanessa explains what depth psychology is, and why it’s known as the psychology of the soul. What are examples of common human archetypes, and how do codependency and trauma bonding fit in? More about Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist and psychologist, along with how he knew that real growth happens when there is a connection to something bigger than ourselves. Find out more about Vanessa’s podcast, Cheaper Than Therapy, along with how to work with Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency, dating, break-ups, healing from toxic relationships, and gaining confidence. So how do you look at codependency from a depth psychology viewpoint? Vanessa gives it to us real — why is being a martyr and acting in a co-dependent manner actually very manipulative and maladaptive? How does connecting with our soul’s purpose just naturally help with codependent behaviors and thinking? What if there is a spiritual element to trauma bonding, such as a past life or karma? Vanessa’s advice for those addicted to a narcissist, who keep seeing the same patterns pop up over and over. Boundary work takes time, and it’s a lifelong commitment. But, when working with a coach or a professional, you can expect more resiliency within yourself and a deeper knowing of who you really are inside. Vanessa teases her new book out soon, It’s Not Me, It’s You. The one emotion we’re all experts at naming? Resentment.   Tweetables: “I look at surrender as an active choice. We’re participating in life when we choose to surrender to the moment.” - Carla “We can understand what the soul is trying to speak to us and communicate. It not only helps us understand the behaviors we have to change, but also helps us connect a little more deeply to our meaning.”- Vanessa “Co-dependent behaviors are manipulative and a way to get some kind of need met.” - Vanessa “I think it’s so powerful to have a spiritual source, whether it’s religion or not.” - Carla “I really believe everything that happens in our life has a greater purpose. Unfortunately, we don’t always know what it is when we’re in it, and for many of us, we are impatient, but sometimes you really have to let things unfold.” - Sherry “Life is working for you.” - Carla “There's no magic wand, you don't just become a boundary master. We're not healing deep attachment and abandonment wounds in three conversations over zoom therapy. This is probably going to be a lifetime of that, but what happens is your resiliency is going to get greater, your ability to call bullshit is going to be way shorter, and you’ll bounce back quicker.” - Vanessa   Connect with Us! The Love Fix | @thelovefixpodcast Become a Member - Codependency Special - Wake Up Recovery  - $1 trial membership Join the Narcissistic Abuse and Codependent Relationship Transformation Challenge FB group  The Love Fix Relationship Quiz   Sherry  Sign up for one of Sherry’s coaching or psychotherapy packages here: https://sherrygaba.com/addiction-recovery/sessions-psychotherapy/rates-insurance/    Gain access to Sherry’s FREE ebooks for codependency, love addiction, or narcissistic abuse. https://relationship-quizzes.com/    Carla Website | Instagram | Facebook | Contagious Love | Online Dating Bootcamp   Vanessa  Cheaper Than Therapy | Instagram | TikTok    Today’s episode is sponsored by Carla’s book Contagious Love: Break Free from Codependency for Damn Good and Sherry’s book Love Smacked: How To Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency To Find Everlasting Love. Thanks to Contagious Love and Love Smacked for sponsoring this episode. Sex Lives of College Girls  Ray Donovan