The Paradox of Being Right

We humans love to be right. We defend our opinions. We double down on our beliefs. We dig our heels in, even when being right costs us our peace. As leaders, our attachment to rightness can quietly poison our relationships, decision-making, and emotional well-being. In this episode, I explore the paradox of being right and why true freedom lives on the other side of letting go. I share a story about my dad, who embodies a mix of self-righteousness and self-loathing. Watching him cling to being right, even as it isolates him from the people he says he loves, has been a powerful mirror for me. I connect this experience to leadership, to life, and to the personal transitions I am navigating right now. I share a costly patent infringement lawsuit where my desire to be right overruled my willingness to listen. I talk about my divorce and how I am intentionally choosing peace over correctness as I enter this next phase of my life and leadership. I also dive into the concept of paradox. Two truths can be true at the same time. You can be confident and still be wrong. You can love someone and feel hurt. You can lead with strength and still change your mind. ” The ability to hold paradox is the cornerstone of emotional maturity. Mic Drop Moments • “The need to be right is a cage disguised as control.” • “Freedom does not come from being right. Freedom comes from being open.” • “When you are right, you lose nothing by listening. When you are wrong, you lose everything by refusing to listen.” • “Two truths can be true at the same time. Emotionally mature leaders stop dying on the hill of being right.” • “Ask yourself. Did being right today make my life better, or did it just give me a dopamine hit followed by disconnection?” Key Takeaways Paradox is where wisdom lives Life is not black or white, and emotionally mature leaders understand this. Two truths can be true at the same time, and the more we can hold opposing ideas without needing certainty, the more grounded and effective we become. Being right gives a dopamine hit, not lasting peace Winning an argument feels good because our brains release dopamine, but the high is fleeting. Over time, clinging to rightness leads to defensiveness, disconnection, and a closed mind that keeps us stuck. Leaders who need to be right shut down their teams When leaders always have to be right, people stop speaking up. This shuts down ownership thinking, limits creativity, and prevents teams from challenging assumptions or offering better solutions. The cost of being right is often hidden and high You may win the argument but lose something far more critical, whether it is trust, money, time, or connection. When life becomes a competition instead of a relationship, the need to be right slowly erodes joy and collaboration. Choose freedom over being right with daily practice Freedom comes from intentional practice. Pause and get curious. Practice both/and thinking. Ask better questions. Prioritize connection over correctness. And reflect daily on whether being right actually made your life better. A Reflection Invitation I invite you to look at one area of your life or leadership where you might be trading your peace and freedom for the need to be right. Just one. Then experiment with letting go in that situation. Do not correct the email. Do not send the “last word” text. Do not push the point in the meeting. Let it go once and see what happens. Visit my website, kerrysiggins.com, to explore my book, The Ownership Mindset, and get more leadership resources. Let’s connect on LinkedIn, Instagram, or TikTok! Find Reflect Forward on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kerrysiggins-reflectforward Find out more about my book here: https://kerrysiggins.com/the-ownership-mindset/ Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerry-siggins/