The Neuroscience of Relationships and Safety: Healing Attachment and Core Wounds with Jessica Baum

This episode is brought to you by Audible, Fatty15 and LMNT. Today I we sit down with psychotherapist and author Jessica Baum to explore how our earliest attachment patterns and trauma bonds shape the way we love, connect, and heal. Drawing from her groundbreaking new book SAFE: A Process for Creating Safe and Intimate Relationships with Yourself and Others, Jessica explains how the body stores implicit memory, why safety—not strength—is the gateway to healing, and how we can transform our nervous system responses to build secure, authentic relationships. Together, Chase and Jessica dive into the neuroscience of trauma healing, the difference between familiar love and real safety, the role of co-regulation, and how facing your own fears of abandonment can lead to the deepest peace and connection you've ever known. Follow Jessica @jessicabaumlmhc Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 – Why we repeat unhealthy relationship patterns 02:00 – How childhood attachment and body memory shape love 04:00 – Safely feeling what we've suppressed 06:00 – When healing triggers hidden trauma 07:30 – Safety as the gateway to true healing 10:00 – The science of trauma healing and earned security 13:30 – Safe love vs. familiar love 15:30 – Vulnerability, intimacy, and doing the work 17:00 – Healing while single vs. within a relationship 18:00 – Finding anchors: people who help you feel safe 19:30 – Why we crave love even after pain 20:50 – Mistaking intensity for love and trauma bonding 23:30 – Starting the work and finding support 25:00 – How to "therapy yourself" and identify core wounds 27:00 – How trauma lives in the body 30:00 – The nervous system, polyvagal theory, and safety cues 33:00 – Understanding nervous system states (ventral, sympathetic, dorsal) 35:00 – Co-regulation and energetic connection 38:00 – How to recognize a trauma bond 41:00 – Learning to be safe alone 43:00 – Healing abandonment and generational patterns 47:00 – Revisiting childhood wounds without parents 50:00 – Parenting, awareness, and intergenerational healing 52:00 – "It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility" 54:00 – Talking to your inner child and resourcing safety 56:00 – Anchors, inner and outer, for emotional regulation 59:00 – Revisiting painful memories and integrating trauma 01:00:30 – How trauma healing improves physical health 01:03:00 – Compassion, memory, and changing your past 01:06:00 – The role of compassion in creating safe relationships 01:09:00 – The science and humility behind SAFE 01:13:00 – Redefining "Ever Forward": slowing down to heal ----- Episode resources: Get Jessica's book for FREE with your 30-day trial of Audible  Get an additional 15% off the already discounted 90-day starter kit of C15:0 essential fatty acids at https://www.Fatty15.com/everforward  Get a FREE variety sample pack of LMNT electrolytes with any purchase at https://www.DrinkLMNT.com/everforward  Watch and subscribe on YouTube