Stop Packing His Lunch, You’re His Lover, Not His Mother

We need to talk about something a lot of women fall into without realizing it, the mothering trap. It starts with love: you want to take care of him, make his life easier, show how much you care. But before you know it, you’re not his partner anymore… you’re his parent. And nothing kills attraction faster than that. You don’t know exactly when it happened, but somewhere along the line, you became my partner's mother. And it became a huge turnoff. It started innocently enough, wanting to nurture him in the name of love. Slowly though, nurturing turned into managing.  Packing his lunch for work, laying out his clothes, being sure he took his vitamins, drank enough water and got to bed at a decent hour. But when you were out to dinner with friends and he asked you what he should order and at that very moment you wanted to crawl under the table. Suddenly it hit you that you were not marrying a man but raising one. GIRL STOP THAT CRAP.  It’s not sexy. You’ve accidentally become his mommy, and newsflash: men don’t want to sleep with their mothers (if you catch my drift). And it’s not as simple as just “stopping.”Because underneath all the caretaking is control. You’ve convinced yourself he needs you but he doesn’t. He’s grown.You’re doing all this because it feels like love… but it’s really about anxiety, fear, and habit.  The Fix Stop rescuing him. Let him step up.He’s capable so let him be. Don’t confuse control with care.The more you take on, the less he does. And the less he does, the less you respect him  and the less attracted you feel. That’s how relationships slide from passionate to parental. .  How to Know You’ve Slipped Into “Mom Mode” Here are a few red flags that you’ve crossed over into parent territory: You pack his lunch or snacks for him. You tell him when to go to bed or nag him about sleep. You remind him to wear a jacket. You check his calendar to make sure he didn’t forget something. You remind him to call his mom. You offer unsolicited advice about his health, finances, or habits. You organize or pack his things before a trip. Sound familiar? Then it’s time for a reset.  A Word for the Guys  if she suddenly stops doing everything for you, don’t pout. Don’t make her feel guilty for treating you like the adult you are.Step up. Handle your own stuff.You’ll be surprised how much more attracted she becomes when she sees you leading instead of leaning. The Takeaway When a woman stops mothering her man, she creates space for desire  and that’s the part that’s likely missing. You can be loving without being his life manager.So step back, breathe, and let him be the man you fell for. Because love thrives between equals, not between mother and son.