She Will Outlive You: Stop Putting Off The Conversation

In this episode, we confront a truth many couples avoid: one partner will likely outlive the other. Statistically, especially in heterosexual relationships, it’s often the woman. That fact shapes the financial, emotional, and logistical choices couples need to make as they plan for retirement. We talk about why it’s essential to create a shared plan—one that not only protects assets, but gives peace of mind to both people involved. We open by acknowledging that in many relationships, one person traditionally handles the finances. If that person passes first, the surviving partner can be left not only grieving, but scrambling to understand the financial puzzle. Amy shares how often she hears from women who feel anxious and uncertain when they’re suddenly in charge. These women aren’t incapable—they just haven’t been part of the process. The heart of our conversation is about empowering both partners to be part of financial planning. Amy outlines the three big areas where questions tend to show up: understanding the financial picture, handling the emotional baggage around trust and confidence, and building knowledge to make informed decisions. It’s not about control—it’s about shared responsibility and kindness. We highlight how reframing conversations away from aging and death toward security and love can help bring both partners to the table more comfortably. We also touch on how crucial it is for the financially involved partner—often men in older generations—to help build a bridge of understanding and trust. Amy uses the metaphor of setting up a tent: it takes both people holding up their corner to make the structure stand. We talk practical next steps, including setting up regular financial check-ins, building a “what-if” folder with key documents and passwords, and ensuring both partners feel respected and heard in these discussions. Ultimately, we conclude that it’s never too late to get involved, and one of the most powerful legacies anyone can leave behind is a partner who feels confident to navigate life after loss. This isn’t just about money—it’s about care, connection, and preparing for a future that’s secure for both people in the relationship. To get in touch with Amy and her team at Thimbleberry Financial, call 503-610-6510 or visit thimbleberryfinancial.com.