How to Beat the Confidence Con with Nicole Kalil

If you have ever struggled with feeling like no matter what you do, it’s not enough, or looking like you have it all together on the outside but on the inside feeling like you have no idea what you’re doing, today’s interview with Nicole Kalil is for you. My guest today is Nicole Kalil, author of Validation is For Parking. She transitioned from a Fortune 100 C Suite executive to become a speaker and the host of This is Woman’s Work Podcast. She’s also known as the Confidence Sherpa and has helped thousands of women reclaim their confidence so they can live authentically, both personally and professionally.   Show Notes: [2:34] - Nicole shares an experience she elaborates on in her book that showed how her outward confidence was a cover up to how she actually felt on the inside. [4:27] - Confidence started out as a personal quest for Nicole, but as she started to piece it together, she wanted to help others. [5:59] - What is the confidence con? [7:14] - We will feel temporarily happy when we get the thing we think will gain us confidence. But then we need more. [9:37] - Until it’s perfect or every box is checked, for many women, this causes inner turmoil. [11:03] - Confidence is when we trust ourselves fully. We can’t be confident if we rely on ourselves being perfect. [12:31] - Seeking the thing that we think will give us confidence is surface level and isn’t enough. [13:42] - Nicole describes some of the things she had to overcome to trust herself. [15:04] - No matter what was going on around her, Nicole had to hang on to that trust. [15:52] - We all are born with trust, but how connected are we to that? What chips away at that over time? [17:43] - Gender stereotypes limit our available emotions. [19:06] - Men are challenged by trusting themselves as well, but later in life when their identity is wrapped up in their career. [20:03] - People trust people who trust themselves. [22:18] - In her book, Nicole provides 5 confidence builders that will help get into action. [23:06] - Talk to yourself the way you would someone you love. [24:23] - Nicole describes how she handles “head trash”. [27:05] - Our internal self-talk can be detrimental and runs rampant in everyone. [29:31] - We are more likely to follow through with our commitments to other people than we are to ourselves. [32:04] - What are the messages Nicole wants to instill in her own daughter?   Connect with Nicole: Website  |  Instagram  |  LinkedIn  |  Podcast  Validation is For Parking by Nicole Kalil   Links and Resources: Your First Six Figures Masterclass  Join the $10K Club Apply for the $50K Club  ElyseArcher.com  DM me on Instagram @elysearcher