Kenneth Berger: Why Is It So Hard to Ask For What We Want?

About Kenneth Berger: Kenneth Berger coaches startup leaders to fend off burnout, take a stand for the life they want, and leave their unique mark on the world. After 20+ years in the tech industry, he’s a trusted confidant to startup CEOs, a former founder backed by top investors, and one of communication cornerstone Slack’s earliest key hires. He's also seen and felt all the unhealthy conflicts these companies can create. His mission is to help startup leaders change the world by learning to ask for what they want effectively: building genuine relationships even with the people they find most challenging. These days, he's working on a book titled "Ask for What You Want" to share his practical techniques for creating change with the world.   In this episode, Dean Newlund and Kenneth Berger discuss:The importance and challenges of asking for what you wantThe intersection of vulnerability and leadership in communicationBalancing personal ambition with effective relationship-buildingShifting power dynamics in employer-employee relationshipsOvercoming fear and uncertainty in personal and professional development   Key Takeaways:Effective asking involves articulating your desires, expressing them respectfully, and being prepared to handle the response—whether positive or negative.The fear of rejection or loss often prevents people from expressing what they want, but confronting this fear can lead to personal growth and better relationships.Clear desires often emerge from addressing frustrations or complaints, making clarity a practical starting point for communication.Modern societal disconnection, exacerbated by technology and the pandemic, has made asking for what we want even more essential for meaningful connections.   "When you start from that foundation of mutual respect for what you want and what you don’t want, a lot becomes possible.” — Kenneth Berger   Connect with Kenneth Berger:   Website: https://kberger.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kberger/       See Dean’s TedTalk “Why Business Needs Intuition” here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEq9IYvgV7I   Connect with Dean: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgqRK8GC8jBIFYPmECUCMkw Website: https://www.mfileadership.com/ The Mission Statement E-Newsletter: https://www.mfileadership.com/blog/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deannewlund/ X (Twitter): https://twitter.com/deannewlund Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MissionFacilitators/ Email: dean.newlund@mfileadership.com Phone: 1-800-926-7370   Show notes by Podcastologist: Hanz Jimuel Alvarez Audio production by Turnkey Podcast Productions. You're the expert. Your podcast will prove it.