James Kimmel on Revenge Addiction: Breaking Free and Regaining Control

James Kimmel, author of The Science of Revenge, joins the show to unpack one of the most overlooked forms of distraction and emotional hijacking: revenge. Drawing from neuroscience, psychology, and decades of legal and public health research, James reveals how revenge isn’t just an emotional reaction—it’s an addictive cycle that can derail our focus, well-being, and relationships. If you’ve ever ruminated about a workplace slight, stewed in a sense of injustice, or mentally put someone “on trial,” this episode offers a powerful, science-backed path forward. In this episode, we cover:What Makes Revenge So Addictive: How grievances activate the same reward centers in the brain as drugs, gambling, and other addictive behaviors.Revenge as a Productivity Killer: Why revenge always focuses on the past—and how it hijacks our mental and emotional bandwidth in the present.The Courtroom in Your Head: James explains the mental trial many of us run daily, casting ourselves in all the roles—prosecutor, judge, jury, and warden.Grievance vs. Reality: The neuroscience behind how imagined slights are often just as powerful as real ones.Workplace Revenge Culture: How toxic tit-for-tat behavior spreads through teams and how leaders can disrupt it before it takes root.Rewiring the Feedback Loop: How revenge follows the same cue-craving-reward cycle as other habits—and how to break it.The Science of Forgiveness: Why forgiveness isn’t “soft,” but rather a neurological off-ramp from pain and rumination that reactivates the decision-making part of the brain.The Wonder Drug in Your Brain: How practicing internal forgiveness shuts down pain networks and reduces stress, anxiety, and cortisol levels.Practical Tools for Release: James shares how his free app helps users safely process their grievances through guided mental courtroom exercises.Healing as Productivity: Why letting go doesn’t just make you feel better—it frees up your energy for purpose-driven work and emotional clarity. Connect with James and his work at jameskimmel.com and find The Science of Revenge wherever books are sold. Connect with Erik:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Threads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bluesky⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ This Podcast is Powered By:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Descript⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Descript 101⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Castmagic⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ecamm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Podpage⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Rodecaster Pro⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Top Productivity Books List⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Make sure to grab Shortcasts from Beyond The To-Do List by Blinkist. A Shortcast is a 7-10 min version of a podcast where you get the core takeaways.  Make sure to support the show by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ checking out the sponsors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.