James Kimmel Jr. Talks About The Science of Revenge and the Power of Forgiveness

In this episode of A Productive Conversation, I sit down with James Kimmel Jr., JD — a Yale lecturer, lawyer, and leading researcher on the neuroscience of revenge. His new book, The Science of Revenge: Understanding the World’s Deadliest Addiction—and How to Overcome It, explores why our brains crave retaliation and how forgiveness can literally rewire us toward peace. Our conversation begins with a deeply personal story that shaped James’s life’s work and unpacks how revenge functions like an addiction — one fueled by pain, dopamine, and unchecked desire. What follows is a fascinating look at how our minds process grievance, why forgiveness is a neurological superpower, and how awareness can keep us from being consumed by cycles of anger and retaliation. Six Discussion PointsHow a violent act of bullying led James to study the neuroscience of revengeThe brain’s pain and reward circuits — and how they make revenge feel like a drugWhy grievances compound and can trigger impulsive reactionsThe distinction between self-defense, grief, and revengeHow forgiveness shuts down the brain’s pain network and restores self-controlWhy awareness, reflection, and tools like journaling can help break the revenge cycle Three Connection PointsGet James's bookVisit James's websiteCheck out the Miracle Court app This conversation reminded me that the pause — that small, deliberate moment between grievance and reaction — can change everything. James’s work shows us that forgiveness isn’t about excusing others; it’s about freeing ourselves. I hope this episode helps you reflect on where small moments of release might lead to greater clarity, peace, and yes, productiveness.