E119 - Doug Noll - Listening Others Into Existence - Emotional Competency

This week's guest is appearing on the show for a second time, Doug Noll is a mediator and peacemaker who teaches people how to listen and validate others' emotions, which he calls Listening Others Into Existence. He believes everyone has a deep need to be heard and validated and that listening and validating someone's emotions is the most powerful and precious gift you can give, costing you nothing. Our culture however teaches us that emotions are bad, and we have learned from our parents to repress our emotions. This causes people to feel uncomfortable when someone is crying or angry, not knowing how to console a grieving friend, dealing with a screaming child, or avoiding hard conversations. As a result, people do not live in emotional safety, are scared of emotions, and are even afraid to admit to their fears, leading to misery, unhappiness, and despair, especially in relationships. Doug's life became one big struggle as he was born nearly deaf, almost blind, and crippled with two club feet. He learned that emotions were not safe, and he became numb to his emotions. However, his work as a mediator and peacemaker forced him to confront human emotion straight on, and he discovered how to listen to others into existence. He taught inmates serving life sentences how to be peacemakers in maximum security prisons and then taught his skills at the highest levels of government in Washington, D.C. Today, he focuses on teaching emotional competency and de-escalation skills based on how our brains are hard-wired, which he believes is a solid foundation of empirical neuroscience. Find Doug here; www.facebook.com/DouglasNoll www.linkedin.com/in/dougnoll/ www.twitter.com/dougnoll www.dougnoll.com/emotional-competency/toxic-person-at-work www.dougnoll.com/