Dr. Ronald Hellman on Homosexism and Sides

In this insightful episode of Smart Sex, Smart Love, host Dr. Joe Kort welcomes Dr. Ronald Hellman, a distinguished psychiatrist and pioneer in LGBTQ+ mental health advocacy. Together, they delve into the concepts of "homosexism" and "sides," challenging longstanding cultural assumptions about gay male sexuality. Dr. Kort and Dr. Hellman discuss the evolution of the term "side"—coined by Dr. Kort to describe gay men who prefer sexual activities other than anal intercourse—and how it has gained acceptance across dating apps and the broader LGBTQ+ community. Dr. Hellman shares his academic perspective on homosexism, a form of prejudice that narrowly defines gay male sex as exclusively involving anal intercourse, while invalidating other forms of erotic intimacy. He emphasizes that research spanning over a century shows that oral sex and mutual masturbation are actually more common among gay men than anal sex. The conversation also explores how media portrayals, outdated medical assessments, and a lack of proper education reinforce these misconceptions, negatively impacting self-esteem and sexual identity within the gay community. Dr. Hellman calls for more accurate representations of male intimacy and greater awareness across all spectrums of sexuality. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of the diversity of sexual expression, the importance of validating different experiences, and the need to dismantle cultural biases in both popular media and healthcare. Dr. Hellman also hints at his upcoming book, Loving Arrangements, focused on open relationships, due out from Rutgers University Press in 2025.