Are Spouses Becoming Too Selfish? What a Healthy Marriage Actually Requires That Media Isn’t Telling You

16 Sep 2025 • 34 min • EN
34 min
00:00
34:58
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Are we getting too self-focused in marriage? In this episode, we unpack the cultural messages that push hyper-individualism (“fill your cup first”) and show why great marriages are actually built on mutual care, not solo self-care. We talk about healthy vs. overcorrected boundaries, why prosocial actions (doing good for your partner) boost your own mood, how to shift from short-term impulses to a long-term family vision, and practical ways to “out-love” each other in daily life. What you’ll learn from this episode:  The trap of “me first” and how it quietly erodes connection Mutual care vs. self-care (and why you can’t get to 100% alone) Boundaries that protect vs. boundaries that avoid A neuroscience-backed reason to give more (and feel better) How shared vision → shared sacrifice → shared joy Simple ways to prioritize your partner without losing yourself If this helped, drop a comment with your biggest takeaway, hit 👍, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. Reviews seriously help—thank you for taking a moment to rate the show! Explore all our resources (Couples Workshop, 30-Day Challenges, guides & more): meetthefreemans.com/links   Episode Timestamps of What We Discussed:  0:00 Love is a commitment (not just a feeling) 1:15 Intro & topic: Are spouses becoming too selfish? 2:41 The myth of “self first,” then the relationship 5:38 Mutual care over self-care (why you can’t get to 100% alone) 9:31 Study: prosocial acts boost mood & connection 11:48 Boundaries: healthy vs the overcorrection 14:05 F1 analogy — from beginner rules to mastery standards 17:47 Culture: hyper-individualism & consumerism in relationships 20:54 Shift to long-term vision (let the future guide today) 22:30 Family values & the erosion of the family-oriented model 28:24 Why media rarely tells you what truly strengthens marriage 30:01 Interdependence & “out-loving” each other 31:25 Choosing your partner’s needs: practical examples 32:46 Main takeaways & reminders 33:38 Love = commitment + shared vision 34:54 Closing: reviews, subscribe 35:12 Resources & sign-off

From "EmPowered Couples with The Freemans"

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