#282 Navigating the Empty Nest: Dr. Judith R. Smith on Challenging Adult Children and Reinventing Motherhood

 "You can't really change your kids, but you can change yourself in small ways," says psychotherapist and author Dr. Judith R. Smith. In this conversation she sheds light on the hidden struggles of mothers over 60 caring for adult children with severe mental health and substance use challenges. Drawing from her book Difficult Mothering, she explores the emotional toll, societal stigma, and isolation these women face. Listen as Dr. Smith discusses the complexities of caregiving, the guilt and shame that often arise, and the urgent need for self-care and support. With compassion and expertise, Dr. Smith offers practical strategies for setting boundaries and reclaiming a sense of self. A must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of motherhood and reinvention.   About Judith R. Smith Judith R. Smith, Ph.D., LCSW, is a New York City based psychotherapist, professor, and researcher on women’s issues as they age. She is a professor, Emerita, at Fordham University. She offers support groups online for mothers with difficult adult children. Her book, Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children through Conflict and Change, is based on a three-year research project and brings to life the stories of fifty women, each over sixty years old, whose lives were drastically altered by becoming the default safety net for their adult “kids.” Links Website Facebook LinkedIn Time Stamps: 03:23 - Dr. Smith talks about mothering, challenging adult children 06:21 - "The most likely perpetrator of elder abuse is an adult child living at home" 10:36 - What percent of adult children fall into this category 15:51 - An awful lot of our homeless situation is due to untreated mental illness 18:26 - Several feminist researchers say parenting is different for men and women 23:27 - How to deal with guilt as a mother 28:42 - Parents who have a child with substance use disorder are eligible for subsidized housing   Connect with Lesley Jane Seymour: Website Instagram LinkedIn Substack If you found this episode insightful, please follow the podcast and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. For more resources and community support, join me on Substack. Until next time, keep reinventing!