232. Rethinking Trauma: From Shame to Healing Through Empathy and Voice

Dr. Hillary Cauthen, Millennial, is a clinical sport psychologist based in Austin TX. Hillary was a division 1 college track athlete, before embarking on a career focusing on the mental health and mental performance dimensions of high performers. Dr. Cauthen is the Founder of Texas Optimal Performance & Psychological Services. Her private practice has steadily grown over the past decade and now includes a dedicated team of six providers delivering comprehensive care to athletes, parents, coaches, and sports organizations throughout the greater Austin, TX area. Dr. Cauthen formerly served as the Director of Organizational Wellness & Performance for Austin FC and the performance psychologist for the San Antonio Spurs, where she developed their mental performance and wellness programs. Her work with high performance is breaking down stigma across communities which is highlighted in her book, "Hello Trauma, Our Invisible Teammate” and continued in her weekly podcast titled Highs & Lows of X’s & O’s Here are the topics we covered: 0:00 Introduction 2:27 Trauma Statistics 3:50 Trauma Defined 4:55 Empathy vs Sympathy 7:21 The Three Trauma Reactions 10:51 Shame 12:57 Embarrassment 15:50 Anger and Recovery 18:21 Gaslighting and Fear 20:44 Changing the Viewpoint 22:27 Resolving Trauma 25:00 Healing 28:08 20 Something Self Memorable Quotes “70% of Americans have reported experiencing trauma.” “Trauma is any physiological response that exists to you “Sympathy is saying “I’m sorry” (unintentional pity); Empathy is an emotional connection.” “Fear is a silencer of people’s voices.” “Anyone living in the timeframe of 2020-2022ish experienced trauma: COVID. The level of experience  and how it impacted us is different.” “Healing is like learning to walk again,..healing is living…it’s taking tender, honest, active care of our wounds. Healing is forgiving and accepting ourselves without judgment, shame or anger. Healing is getting our voices back so we can speak and listen. But it’s also caring for ourselves out loud publicly and for all to see and hear.” (Excerpt for Hillary’s book) Here are the 3 Takeaways: When we experience trauma there are 3 places we can go to and be: the minimizer (dismiss the impact), the enabler (“It must be my fault”), and the moral authority (something really bad did happen). We will go back and forth between these during our healing phase. Until the moral authority kicks in the we really can’t recover. Shame is not guilt and is an assessment of our character traits. It can create relentless negative self talk and striving for perfectionism. We don’t want to fail because it creates more shame. Before shame, embarrassment, which is a socially prescribed morals and norms, can often come. It’s the fear of the judgement of others that can lead to the feeling of embarrassment.  Anger goes to action. It is the most powerful emotion to move differently.  What we’re not doing yet is having the emotional vocabulary for trauma and sitting with people’s emotions. We can all experience trauma and have it impact us but it’s what we do through the next phases, and the meaning we make of it, is how we get back to living healthy. Healing will eventually happen. As Mentioned: Her book: Hello Trauma, Our Invisible Teammate Available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Audible! A signed copy is available at www.txopps.com Her podcast: Highs & Lows of X's & O's Additional Resources: 213. Understanding Crisis, Trauma, Healing, and Growth with Dr. Kate Flynn, The Crisis Coach Ep. 179. Trauma, Control, and the Journey to Vulnerability, Trust - Insights from Gabor Maté, Daniel Goleman, Brené Brown Ways to contact with Hillary: drcauthen@txopps.com insta: drcmindset Ways to reach Yo: yo@yocanny.com    Public FB group: Girl, Take the Lead! https://www.facebook.com/groups/272025931481748/?ref=share   Linktr.ee/yocanny https://www.instagram.com/yocanny https://www.linkedin.com/in/yocanny/