213: What Does Healthy Differentiation Look Like?

We are delighted to welcome Valerie Hamaker back to the show! Early on in the discussion between Valerie and LDF host Dan Wotherspoon, we get caught up about the shake up this past March that was started by church leaders who disapproved of the content of her podcast, Latter-day Struggles. They couldn't understand see how her work was actually a boon for the Mormon community through its forthright conversations about matters troubling Latter-day Saints, and how she worked with them, using her background and skills as a licensed therapist, to see broader perspectives and find healing. Faced wth looming excommunication from the church, she and her husband, Nathan, withdrew their membership. Our main focus in relating a short synopsis of these events is to talk about reactions to the news by Latter-day Struggles listeners and members of discussion groups. Has it affected her work with those seeking understanding and healing. The bulk of the conversation in this episode focuses on how a person can differentiate in healthy ways from family members, institutions like the LDS Church, and most of all our spouses or partners. How can we be ourselves in places and situations in which people don't see things the same way? Why is differentiation so important? Ultimately the conversation focuses on marriage relationships that have been affected by differing views, or from trauma that is hard for a partner to recognize and understand. As couples work through these things in healthy ways, their love and commitment allows them to fully accept each other. Everything about being partnered is a crucible for change and growth! Though it talks about hard things, this conversation is upbeat and optimistic about all of us discovering ourselves and bettering our relationships. Listen in! There is lots of wisdom in this episode.