#156 Finding Yourself After Faking It: Sari Botton on Memoir, Honesty, and Editing

Estelle Erasmus is joined by editor Sari Botton, a memoirist featured in Poets & Writers’ “5 Over 50.” In this episode, Sari shares why the most powerful memoirs often illuminate the ordinary, how she found the right container to structure her story, and the lessons she’s learned about balancing honesty with protecting others on the page. She also discusses the challenges of people-pleasing, the persistence of “mean girls” into adulthood, and how she built a thriving editorial life through her Substack publications, Oldster, Memoir Land, and Adventures in Journalism. Sari Botton's memoir in essays, And You May Find Yourself...Confessions of a Late-Blooming Gen-X Weirdo, was chosen by Poets & Writers magazine for the 2022 edition of its annual "5 Over 50" feature. For five years, she was the Essays Editor at Longreads. She edited the bestselling anthologies Goodbye to All That: Writers on Loving and Leaving New York and Never Can Say Goodbye: Writers on Their Unshakable Love for New York. She publishes Oldster Magazine, Memoir Land, and Adventures in Journalism.  In this episode: Why strong memoirs focus on the universal, not just the extraordinary [3:00] How to find the catalytic moment that gives your story shape [5:10] The importance of writing a fearless “vomit draft” before refining [20:18] Strategies for ethically blurring identities while keeping emotional truth [23:39] How to turn editorial skills into sustainable platforms and community-building [32:41]   Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/tvQahdqPctE   Related Episode:  #143 What We Don’t Talk About: Family, Loss, Love, and the Art of Editing Anthologies with Michele Filgate https://estelleserasmus.com/143-what-we-dont-talk-about-family-loss-love-and-the-art-of-editing-anthologies/ Connect with Sari  Instagram: http://instagram.com/saribotton Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/saribotton.bsky.social Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sari.botton/ Substack: https://substack.com/@saribotton Website: http://saribotton.com Get More from Estelle: Webinars: Sign up for Estelle’s webinar on October 9th in collaboration with Writer’s Digest Mapping Your Memoir: How to Find the Heart and Shape of Your Story https://writersdigestuniversity.mykajabi.com/mapping-your-memoir   Sign up for Estelle’s free online Editor-on-call NYU event on October 29th Inside Slate: An Unfiltered Conversation with Senior Editor, Rebecca Onion.  Register here: https://events.nyu.edu/event/368190-editor-on-call-inside-slate-an-unfiltered   🎤 TEDx Talk: How to Get Noticed in Your Writing and Beyond Estelle blends personal storytelling with actionable strategies for standing out—starting with a chaotic moment involving Thomas the Tank Engine. 📺 Watch, comment, and share 📬 Newsletter + FREE Pitching Guide Find out more about this episode and get Estelle’s free pitching guide when you sign up for her newsletter: https://estelleserasmus.com/podcast About Estelle: Estelle Erasmus is an award-winning journalist, author of Writing That Gets Noticed (named a “Best Book for Writers” by Poets & Writers), and host of Freelance Writing Direct—2025 Podcast of the Year (Education), American Writing Awards. A Contributing Editor for Writer’s Digest and adjunct professor at NYU, her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, WIRED, PBS/Next Avenue, The Independent, and AARP: The Magazine. She’s served as editor-in-chief of five national magazines. Explore More: 📘 Writing That Gets Noticed – Buy the book | Audiobook 📰 Subscribe on Substack: https://estelleserasmus.substack.com Latest posts: “When Writers Are the Ones Blocking the Page: 6 Ways to Move Forward (and An Offer); Stop Counting Your Words. Start Shaping Your Story” and “How to Get Published in Cosmopolitan or Seventeen” 🎧 More episodes: Freelance Writing Direct Podcast Read Estelle’s latest article How to Use the Internet to Become Your Own Private Investigator (Next Avenue/PBS)     Follow Estelle: Instagram: @EstelleSErasmus TikTok: @EstelleSErasmus Twitter: @EstelleSErasmus BlueSky: @estelleserasmus.bsky.social