Oz 9

Updated: 02 Jan 2024 • 119 episodes
oz-9.com

It's Spring 2142 (a Tuesday), and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. Except this whole "terraform and take over" idea isn't actually the plan; the real plan is far more nefarious and involves a great deal of cackling. But those aboard the ships don't know that, so off they toodle (those that make it out of Earth's atmosphere, at least), all shiny and optimistic. This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.

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It's episode 90! And that's the best thing we can say about it. There's a lot of sampling of condiments. Word of warning: don't get between (former) Cpt. Jessie and the cheese sauce, or lives may be lost. Also, we found a crate of "blight piston bottles." Anyone know what those are good for? You've been listening to: S

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It's nearly Christmas as I type this, and I'm bah humbugging like your least favorite neighbor, but throwing out an episode of Oz 9 always makes me happy. I like making the world just a little bit goofier and more confusing. We have some additions to our ship today, and they are stupid cute in the manner of those "got

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23 Nov 2023 • EN

Bonus: Take the planet

It's Thanksgiving, Oz 9 style, which means the only thing anyone has to be grateful for is surviving it. If you've ever wondered about the origin of stuffing, well, we have a theory for you. Also, were you aware you speak fluent Klep? It's true. And you didn't even have to practice. Take THAT, Duolingo. You've been lis

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We turned five years old yesterday. The podcast, I mean — Oz 9 just turned 5. How we've lasted that long, we have no idea, but we suspect it has something to do with the fact that everyone is slightly fried from the pandemic and not giving real life 100% of their attention just now. And that's cool. Real life can be a

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Remember those days, hanging out at the mall, thinking Spencer's Gifts was the height of counter-culture because they had festive roach clips? Yeah, me neither. I spent all my time at Waldenbooks. Anyway, get ready for a trip backwards in time to the mall. I can almost smell the Orange Julius and Cinnabon (which remind

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Continuing in our endeavor to educate the public, much of the cowboy vernacular here is authentic. Well, some of it. "Brown gargle," for example, is totally legit. Should it come up on Jeopardy at some point, we expect compensation. The crew continue to explore the Oz 9, sometimes voluntarily. We know these stupid sand

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